Life

Confessions of an Introvert

Last week I briefly touched upon how hard it has been to make friends in a new city. It really has been and as I talked to other bloggers, we all had the same point on that it is partly due to our introvert personalities. There are many social things we aren’t good at sometimes and trust me, we always try to work on this.

I always dreaded the first day of school and not because I hated school. I actually used to love it. I would even get upset when I would get sick because I would miss school days. But anyways, I did hate the first day of school though. Why? Because I had to introduce myself in every single class. Usually it was something like “say your name, your grade, a goal or something special about you or your favorite subject.” Something along those lines. It was the worst. Like why do I have to tell you this? Will you remember after we are all done? No. Will the teacher remember? No. Thankfully in college, that rarely ever happened. However as a marketing major, I had to do many presentations and for some reason I did love doing presentations. As an introvert, you may be quiet at times most of the time, but when you are on your element of expertise, there is no stopping you on all the things you want to say. Like when you are talking about your favorite TV show or book or hobby. You just can’t stop talking about it either because you want everyone else to love it too or because you are so excited that someone loves it and understands it too. At least that is the case for me. Which is why I did not look like an introvert at all when I used to present in college. I loved what I was talking about. But once I was back in my seat I was back to being that quiet introverted girl.

After college, came that first day at a new job. It is pretty close or even worse to that first day back in school for an introvert. Having to introduce yourself to every new coworker you meet and tell them where you worked before or where you graduated from and how the weather is today and how far is your commute and all that small talk… Not fun. But you don’t want to look rude to your new co workers and you want to fit in and you want them to talk good about you when you walk back to your cubicle and they stay gossiping about the new girl in the office.

IntrovertYou know what’s the worst thing that can happen to an introvert? When we make perfectly executed plans to stay home, watch our favorite show/movie or work on that DIY project we have been eyeing on Pinterest and someone calls us to go out. Like hellooo?!… I already had a perfect night planned out to the tee for myself! Why do you have to ruin it like that? But then you think about how you had already said no last Friday night and you feel like you HAVE to go this time. So you get out of your sweat pants and say “Of course! I’ll meet you there! I am totally down for it!”

We are not shy, we just aren’t too social. There is a difference. I often don’t care what others think on what I do, what I wear, where I go etc. We just don’t care about meaningless conversations and small talks that will get nowhere. As I said before, I do love to talk sometimes, I used to even get in trouble in school sometimes for talking, but I think it is just when I feel comfortable on my topic and space.

If only you could hear all the things that go in the brain of an introverts. So many times I want to say something rude and complain on something at work/school/home/anywhere but then I think about the problem and exhaustion and pointless argument that it will become and I just let it go. I just do. It’s not even worth it. So my conversations at home go something like this “I should’ve told him/her this and that!” and then Flavio asks “Did you?” and I’m like “No… But it went through my mind! And in my mind, he/she was set in its place”. This may be good for me. It always keeps me away from trouble. I am always thought as the “nice girl” and have never had a problem with a co worker (*knock on wood*). I often tend to be Switzerland in problems, because I hate arguing and because I just like to stay out of it.

To those extroverts out there, I love you guys for having the great and passionate personalities you do. I am an introvert, I am fine with spending time alone sometimes, a night in with wine and movies is fun to me, not being the center of attention is always perfectly okay with me and I don’t small talk in an elevator (unless I am ever in an elevator with Taylor Swift in which case I would totally talk. Nope I won’t. I will freeze and watch her go).

But that’s just how I am. Are you an introvert? Or are you an extrovert that just read my post and thought there is something wrong in my head?

Love,

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  • Yip, I know what you mean. I did a personality test at work recently and it turns out I’m more introverted than extroverted. I can’t say I’m surprised – I had my suspicions as I’m really happy in my own company and tend to be more reserved than out there. Great post Ari, thanks for sharing it x

    • Ari

      That’s awesome. I have never taken one of those test. I should!

      And no problem! Thank you for reading! 🙂

  • So, so true– what a great post! Love your site! 🙂

    • Ari

      Thank you Julianna. I saw that you are just starting your blog 🙂 looking forward to seeing your writing!

  • I love this!! I’m an introvert through and through. It’s really hard sometimes because I feel like I have to explain myself to people…like no, it’s not that I don’t like YOU, it’s that I need some time for me and just don’t feel like talking! So no, there’s nothing wrong with your head! I get you 🙂

    • Ari

      haha. thanks Jenny! It’s something only introverts understand! 😀

  • I definitely consider myself an omnivert, so I can totally relate to parts of this. My nightly and weekend plans always include me sitting on the couch or in bed with my boyfriend watching Netflix and blogging, and I’m totally okay with that. Getting out and actually doing things sets me off balance. I think I need to find a balance between sitting at home and going out. I’m just so lazy!

    • Ari

      haha yes. I get thrown off a little when my plans change too! I just need to prepare myself mentally! lol It happens!

  • I’m an introvert and I completely relate to the having plans to stay in problem! I hate it when I’m envisioning a relaxing night in my head and then someone wants to go out and although I feel like I have plans, I don’t actually have a legit excuse to give them.

    • Ari

      Haha yes!! Some people just don’t understand!

  • Hanna @ TheMillennialNextDoor

    Hello, nice blog!

    I am an introvert too and much of what you are saying rings true to me. I’ve actually found that as you get older, being introverted becomes a little bit easier. As an adult I have a lot more control over who I spend time with and how often I have to be social, and work/family responsibilities limit our opportunities to be social and go out anyway. There are still difficulties, for sure. But it was much harder to be introverted as a student, when every day you are surrounded by dozens of other students and it’s very noticeable if you are not up to their level of socialization.

    My boss always says: “If you don’t know how an extrovert is feeling, it’s because you’re not listening; if you don’t know how an introvert is feeling, it’s because you didn’t ask.” Fun food for thought!!

    • Ari

      I love what your boss said!!!! That is very true. No one knows why I’m upset or why I’m sad unless they pull the words out of my mouth. That is so true.

      Thank you for your advice! It’s true the pressure was felt a lot more when in school than it does now.

      Thank you for stopping by 🙂 <3

  • I’m definitely an introvert so I can relate to this post 100% – especially when it comes to the first day of school. Why don’t we leave icebreaker games for elementary school? Haha. Great writing!

    Nicole
    http://www.meetmeinmidtown.blogspot.com

    • Ari

      Seriously! It is such a struggle of a day for an introvert! Not everyone gets it. hehe

  • I think I’m a combination of the two. I love my nights in and time alone and sometimes I can be really quiet. Other times I feel this great need to be social and to say what I feel like saying lol.

    • Ari

      lol yes. That can happen too! A balanced of both would be perfect. right? it’s a good thing that you can be both 🙂

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